And about the Zoo children

I completely forgot to mention a strange phenomenon I witnessed at the Zoo two weekends ago. The children had somehow gotten out of their cages, and were trying desperately to see the other animals. With no mind for manners, they cut in front of me at just about every exhibit. I remember when I was a child, I also felt this entitlement to most things. For instance, if there was a long line for food or for a bathroom, especially in a private rather than public setting, I felt that being an adorable and fragile child, I deserved to go first. At parades or firework displays, I deserved to stand in the position with the best view. And any establishment that charged an admission fee should charge my parents significantly less for my ticket.

As I became older, my attitudes changed. As a paying customer and as someone who enjoys taking time out of her stressful and obligation-filled life, I feel that I should benefit from entitlement. Children can stand on the subway—they have energy! We twenty-year olds deserve a break!

Now, these escaped zoo children—they stopped at nothing to see the animals, which they would no doubt forget having seen within an hour. (From my understanding, memory does not develop until the age of 14, and then ceases to function after the age of 42.) They would push in front of me, a paying customer (which is such a lie. I didn’t pay to get into the Zoo, my mother purchased me a zoo membership last summer), to see the animals that I was enjoying! Nothing special, I know. Children push, but the peculiar phenomenon was this: they shouted “Excuse me, excuse me!” as they pushed past, thinking that this was acceptable behavior and an acceptable use of the phrase “excuse me.” I heard only one parent correct the behavior.

I will learn from the mistakes of the failed parents preceding me. My children will be perfectly behaved. They will always offer their seats to the hard-working 20-50 year-olds, and will pay full price for movies and museums admission, footing the bill for the impoverished college students. What angels. When they say “excuse me,” it will not be to push an adult, but rather to say to them, “excuse me, please take this spot, I believe you were here first and you deserve it.”